Perfect Toilets-sign 厕所指示牌

厕所指示牌：男士请向左，因为女士永远"对“。

注：英文 right 有”对“也有”右“的意思。原文的意思是：男厕在左，女厕在右。

Harvard's exam question 哈佛考题

This is the question from Harvard's Science Research. 这是哈佛科学研究的考题。

Use of calculator is prohibited.  禁止用计算机。

The question is.... If 考题如下：如果


1 = 5 
2 = 25 
3= 125 
4 = 625 

5 =?






Answer is at the bottom， 答案在下面



















Answer is 答案是 =1 

Have you forgotten？你忘了？ 1=5 



Got it wrong like me? 像我这样答错了？
No wonder you also did not get into Harvard. Ha, ha, ha……!! 哈哈哈，难怪你也进不了哈佛。。。。

不能没有纸！Paper is not dead !

它不是万能的，但是没有它是万万不能的。

没有穿衣服！Locked Out of Hotel Room

A man gets locked out of his hotel room while trying to leave his room-service dishes outside his door.

Unfortunately, he was naked! 

一名男士把餐盘放在旅店房间外面时，被锁在门外。

不幸的是，他当时没有穿衣服。

A Little Bird Flying South 小鸟南飞

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It got so cold it froze up and fell to the ground in a large field. 

While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. 

As it lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. 

A passing cat heard the little bird singing, and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out-and then ate him. 

The morals of the story are: 

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. 

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 

3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

很多年前听来的一则有关小鸟南飞的故事，很欣赏这则已经找不到出处的作者的功力，能够用这么精简通俗的语言和故事结构，来传达生活哲理。

"一只小鸟正在飞往南方过冬的途中，天气太冷了，小鸟冻僵了，从天上掉下来，跌在一大片农田里。

它躺在田里就将冻死的时候，一只母牛刚好经过，而且拉了一坨屎在它身上。

冻僵的小鸟被埋在牛屎堆里，发掘牛粪真是很温暖了。牛粪让它慢慢缓过劲儿来了！它躺在牛屎堆里，又暖和又开心，就开始高兴地唱起歌来了。

一只路过的猫听到了小鸟的歌声，走过来查个究竟。顺著声音，猫发现了躲在牛粪中的小鸟，非常敏捷地将它刨了出来，并将它给吃了！"

这个故事的寓意是……

1) 不是每个在你身上拉屎的都是你的敌人。

2) 不是每个把你从屎堆中拉出来的都是你的朋友。

3) 当你满身都是屎的时候，闭上你的鸟嘴。

English Class 学习英语

Lesson One 第一课：

Lesson Two 第二课：

Who Needs Diapers 谁需要尿布？

This photo gets my vote for "The Photo of the Year" award.

Crazy, Not Stupid 神经，可是不笨

One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to a mental hospital.

He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to leave the premises. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down.

When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain.

As he can't fish the bolts out, he started to panic. 

One patient happened to walk by and he asked the driver what happened.Since there's nothing much he can do, the driver told the patient the whole incident.

The patient laughed at him and said: "You can't even fix such a simple problem? No wonder you are destined to be a truck driver." 

"Here's what you can do: take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres, and fix it onto this tyre. Then drive to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones. It is as easy as that."

The driver was very impressed and asked: "You're so smart! Then why are you here at the mental hospital?"

The patient replied: "Hello, I stay here because I'm crazy, not stupid. OK?!"

We Aim to Please

在男厕看到一则以清洁工友语气写的告示：
This notice is seen in the male toilet:

We aim to please,
You aim too, please.

自动冲水厕所 Automatic Flushing Toilet

亲爱的自动冲水厕所，感激你的热情尽责。。但是我还没办完事呢。

苏格兰农夫：善有善报 Good Begets Good - Scottish Farmer

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

Sir Alexander Fleming

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

'I want to repay you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's life.'

'No, I can't accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel.

'Is that your son?' the nobleman asked.

'Yes,' the farmer replied proudly.

'I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.' And that he did.

Sir Winston Churchill

Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill .. His son's name?

Sir Winston Churchill.

时代不同了 This Time is Different

问与答：Q&A:

How did you manage to stay together for 65 years???
你们是如何能够在一起生活65年这么久？？？
We are from a time where if something is broken we fix it, not throw it away.
我们那个时代，东西坏了就只想到要修补，而不是扔掉。

超市所见！In the Supermarket

关于工作！ About Jobs

It is all about Jobs in America!

Bill Gates Says 盖茨智慧语

盖茨说：

我爱找懒人来做困难的工作，因为他总会找简单途径。

I Have to Sack My Secretary 我開除女秘書的原因

我這秘書可真貼心啊 ! 但是，我把她開除了，原因 ----

兩個禮拜之前，是我45歲的生日。

那天早上，我的心情還不錯。

我想，吃早餐的時候，我老婆一定會高興的跟我說生日快樂，搞不好，還會準備一個禮物送我呢！結果她不但沒有跟我說生日快樂，就連"早安"也沒一句。

我想: 算了，老婆就是這樣！可能小孩还會記得吧。結果，小孩來吃早餐的時候，也是什麼都沒說。

等我到公司的時候，我已經覺得滿沮喪的了。

當我要走進辦公室的時候，我的秘書珍娜對我說：早安阿，老闆，生日快樂！我頓時覺得好一點，至少還有人記得。

工作到了中午，珍娜敲敲我的門，說：你知道嗎？今天天氣不錯，而且又是你的生日，不如到外面用餐吧，就我跟你。

我說：这是我今天聽到最好聽的話，走吧！

我們沒有到我們平常用餐的地方，反而去了郊外一個比較私人的地方。

我們點了兩杯馬丁尼，好好的享受這頓午餐。

在回去的路上，珍娜說：今天真的是美好的一天。我想，我們不一定要回去公司吧?我說：我想不用吧。

她說：那，不如去我家吧！

到了她家之後，她說：老闆，如果你不介意，我想到房間換件比較舒服的衣服。

當然！我興奮的說。於是她進去房間。

六分鐘之後，她拿了一個大生日蛋糕出來。Surprise!!

接著走出來的是我太太，小孩以及一群朋友，全部唱著「生日快樂」歌。

而我則坐在沙發上 ............  

一絲不掛！

西洋换衣秀 Magic Clothes Change!

How they did it?

 

A Child Who Can See Perfectly in the Dark!

A boy has stunned medics with his ability to see in pitch black with eyes that glow in the dark. 

Doctors have studied Nong Youhui's amazing eyesight since his dad took him to hospital in Dahua, southern China, concerned over his bright blue eyes.

Dad Ling said: "They told me he would grow out of it and that his eyes would stop glowing and turn black like most Chinese people but they never did."

Medical tests conducted in complete darkness show Youhui can read perfectly without any light and sees as clearly as most people do during the day.

Never Under-estimate a Chinese

A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank.. He produces the title and everything checks out.

The Loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. 

Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000? The Chinese replies: 'Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there safely when I return.'   

Never laugh at a Chinese!   

男人的头脑 Man's Brain